July 2010
1 post
And then you just keep on ruining it for me.
It’s already hard enough that I have a great and loving boyfriend now. I feel so blessed for him to come my way. He entered my world through all broken glasses and torn up hearts. He found his way to get into my little box and shattering that into a million peices. Now I’m free. I’m free from your bullshit. I stopped my helpless tears. And for once, I’m happy. I AM HAPPY...
December 2009
8 posts
13765.) I try not to love you but all it does is...
(via blogsecret)
I HOPE THIS IS FORREALS.
I am fed up. Forgive me, but I am so fucking tired of trying to figure out, what the hell you want. Your complicated? DAMN RIGHT YOUR FUCKING COMPLICATED. SHEESH. I hate how much time I’m wasting, hoping one day we’d be together again. AND ALL THAT CRAP. I hate how I’m still loving you. -_- Things between us, will never be the same. But I KNOW, this will ALWAYS HURT. =/ And this...
13574.) In that moment, everything I told myself,...
(via blogsecret)
I keep reminicing, it hurts.. )=
So, I started reading my old comments =/ & ohh the pain fucking kills me to the bone. We used to be so happy together.. How could this happen between us.. Baby, the pain just keeps on coming.. You told me I will always have a place in your heart.. then why arent I having all of your heart. You say you miss it, but I bet thats just a phase. CAUSE OBVIOUSLY, if you missed it as much as you say,...
Everytime you miss me, you always misss me for the...
A girl like me, can still love you...
Ughs, IThere are days when I sit in my room and cry, wondering how the hell did I fall for all your lies. Well, I think I know why. You made me believe there was such words as forever. But really, your love for me?That was light like a feather. Cause if you really loved me, as much as you say, things wouldnt have ended this way. You lied so fucking well, there was no one who could tell. Youre a...
13396.) ive never loved someone so much like the...
(via blogsecret)
AND
even though youre gone and moved-on, I can;t seem to stop loving you. And even though, im sorta talking to someone else, makes me feel so guilty. But the thing is, I thought I was over you. I thought I was alll good. But ugh, somehow, i always get led back to you. Is it destiny? Fate? Or maybe, i just keep glimpsing, taking second and third looks, a blast from the past, only to make me miss you,...
November 2009
18 posts
I had forgotten what it felt like to find someone...
(via kimberlyjane)
“There is no such thing as a perfect soulmate. If you meet someone and you think...”
12549.) Even other people see us to be perfect for...
(via blogsecret)
Why do you have to be THAT guy =/
Theres always going to be one guy you compare to the rest. The guy who would still keep you wondering at the middle of the night if you two would ever be together again. The guy you can never forget, because you had way too many good memories with him. The guy who makes you shed a tear once in a while, because you find yourself thinking ‘what went wrong’. The guy who you said you’ll always be...
I couldnt have said it better myself.
“And here it goes.I know you’ve moved on, moved on for good, but there are things you don’t know, things I don’t show, things I hide inside. I know to you it seems like I don’t care, seems like I was never ever there, but there was never one day that you didn’t cross my mind a million times. And believe me, if I could go back, I would, but things are different now. Time caught up with us and broke...
12510.) I hate that as hard as I try, I just...
(via blogsecret)
My hearts been burned
So, you deleted everything.. =/ and.. I guess. Thats how I know your really done? mm, Have a good life.
I'm a changed person,
and I give you the credit for it. And i didn’t say it was for the better either. Look at what I’m doing to my life. Horrible, horrible choices. )= Losing alot of friends, and yet. I’m in a fuck-it moood. -_- But you guys are hella pissing me off though, like seriously. Esp. When you fucking called me dude. If youre gonna call me and tell me bullshit, tell me everything. Dont give...
Thats cute.
You guys are cute, i must say. Nice picture.
Kay, i’ll be honest, it puts a pain in my chest, but.. Im happy for you. I hope you dont get hurt, but then again, I have no intention of warning you. It is what it is, and I’ll let it happen. I aint crying for you. Youre finally happy right? Thats why Im smiling for you.
Its killing me, but im NOT dying.
This is about you. YOU. Out of...
Because music is the only thing.
I cant do this )= Its so hard. Everything I do, everything i see, EVERYWHERE i fucking go, theres always something that reminds me of you =/ I’m sick of it. I can’t and won’t let you take over my life, and make me the most miserable girl on earth. Im hurting, but I’m not gonna die. I lived without you before, no doubt I can live without you again.. but this time. It’s...
mypaper-heart:
“You know what’s wrong with us? You are. You build us up. You make us feel like we have a chance. You make us feel special, and then when we don’t expect it, you knock us down. And you don’t even realize (or care) that you have just crushed us in this way… In a way that you feel it from the deepest part of your chest. You feel everything inside of you crumble and its all you can...
I'm sorry.
I'll be happy for ya.
You know what, This is it. The tears, its done. The pain, its being delt with. But the love I have for you, will always be here.
” Do you believe that your first love is your only true love? ” I do. And maybe one day you’ll realize that, or maybe one day you won’t. No worries honey, im good. If you come back, I hope its for good. If you don’t, you know. The memories...
I'm happy
mypaper-heart:
with or without you.
“I know that we won’t ever really be close again, and that hurts more than you...”
– & its true.
October 2009
11 posts
I wish i hated you.
I can’t believe this is happening to me again. Why did I feel like, there was something there between us. Why did I believe that somewhere inside of you, you wanted me back. Youre killing me. But I’m stupid. I feel fooolish. The reason why I didn’t go to school today was because I didn’t want you to see me cry.. I look horrible. I shouldve known. All the times I was so open...
Just something I need to remember, in case...
SJ Lazy Boy: For example
SJ Lazy Boy: what if you two talk tonight
SJ Lazy Boy: and you two decide to finish it
SJ Lazy Boy: and you two don't talk for
SJ Lazy Boy: i dn't know, weeks, a month
SJ Lazy Boy: and all of a sudden, one day next month
SJ Lazy Boy: He decides to talk to you
SJ Lazy Boy: for the first time in what seems like forever
SJ Lazy Boy: And he gives you this really long and heartfelt speech about how much he missed you in his life and how much he wants it back
SJ Lazy Boy: what are you going to do then?
SJ Lazy Boy: You might be fine without him after awhile
SJ Lazy Boy: But the second he comes back, suddenly you feel weak again
itsmaexkabang: =/
itsmaexkabang: i have no idea how to handle that.
itsmaexkabang: i mean
itsmaexkabang: i know im not going to let him back in my life just yet.
itsmaexkabang: you know it could be just a spurr of the moment kinda thing.
itsmaexkabang: when he told me he missed me, i guess thats just how he felt during that time.
itsmaexkabang: but now, it changed.
itsmaexkabang: and the next time he does that.
itsmaexkabang: i dont wanna be stupid enough and fall for that again.
itsmaexkabang: i have to let him suffer for awhile.
itsmaexkabang: cause how am i supposed to know.
itsmaexkabang: that thats what he really wants.
itsmaexkabang: i think, the thing is. i let him walk all over me too much.
itsmaexkabang: he takes too much control.
itsmaexkabang: and right now. i feel like. i need to step up my game.
itsmaexkabang: that just because he comes in, doesnt mean hes not gonna walk out.
I'll always have this little hope of you coming...
SJ Lazy Boy: I know what you mean
SJ Lazy Boy: I'm not trying to give you false hope by any means
SJ Lazy Boy: But I just want you to keep an open mind
SJ Lazy Boy: Because for the past, well, since forever
SJ Lazy Boy: It's been Aaron Aaron Aaron
itsmaexkabang: yeah..
SJ Lazy Boy: And that's okay because he was obviously a big part of your life
SJ Lazy Boy: and still is
SJ Lazy Boy: And I know you're keeping your options open
SJ Lazy Boy: Or at least you try your best
SJ Lazy Boy: maybe to see if someone else might come along
SJ Lazy Boy: To see if someone new is able to give you that feeling again
SJ Lazy Boy: But keeping an open mind goes two ways, not just one
SJ Lazy Boy: You never know how Aaron is going to feel about you tomorrow
SJ Lazy Boy: Or next week, next month, next year
SJ Lazy Boy: Maybe even in an hour
SJ Lazy Boy: Not trying to get your hopes up, I just want you to be prepared for the possibility that one day, he's going to want it back
SJ Lazy Boy: And you have to decide now what you're going to do if that should ever happen
12007.) I pretend to be cool with your drug use,...
(via blogsecret)
kimberlyjane:
mikehawk:
Ne-yo - If You Want Me...
Did you think I was messin'?
slickstatusnigga:
I won’t get into detail about this, but just know that I ain’t playin’ when I say I’ma do something. It all turn out hilarious after, hahaha. But he was so close to pissing his pants, I know it. This is the last of it thou, past is past. If Mae could somehow forgive you, I should too. Just remember: You were stupid enough to fuck up the first time, don’t be stupid enough to...
And maybe.. JUST maybe.. I don't want this...
I finally see it );
And I hate it. I hate how so different we became. Everytime we talk now, it seems like all you wanna talk about is drugs. Weed this, weed that. like just because I did what I did, doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.. ” Smoke weed everyday! ” OR whatever, what the fuck is that. Do you want me to help you or not. Basically Kristi gave up on you, but look. I’m here,...
Mistaken by love.
*sigh. I just wish you were mines. I could be the one to help you stop with your drug shit. Youre just not letting me. I risked everything for you before, no doubt i’ll do the same now.. But look what youre doing to me, you’re killing me. We started talking again, and I was happy. It makes me happy =/ & when you asked me to save you a dance, I was assuming a slow dance.. But i...
Hola.
Hm, ive been really confused lately. ): When you told Kristi that I was cute.. I dont know. I don;t know why it made me so happy. But it did. I miss you. A whole lot )= AND FUCK. Sometimes, I just wanna smile at you. but I dont the balls too. I just wanna run up to you, and kiss you softly, and walk away like nothing. D; AAHH. I DONT KNOW. I dont fucking know. I dont really know what to say. But...
September 2009
36 posts
Love, your blusie.
I’ll walk away, pretend like you were never there, smile like you never hurted me, laugh like i dont give a fuck about you anymore, but deep inside my heart, i find a way to still love you. & Tell me, where can you find a love like that? )= *sigh. I dont know what im talking about. But I love you still.. and I kinda wish i didn’t. You make me feel stupid, cause.. you’re never...
You make me feel so fucking foolish.
I just don;t get it. I thought you dont talk to her anymore, i thought she said THIS WAS GETTING OLD. If it was getting old, that shit on her myspace wouldnt even be there. And why, why are you telling Pat all this shit, that you want me? You wanna fix things with me, theres nothing SHE has that I don’t fucking have, that all you did was miss her. THE FUCK. PATS RIGHT. YOU LET MISSSING YOURE...
10731.) I love you, but I'm afraid to give you my...
(via blogsecret)
10732.) I wish I could tell you exactly how much I...
(via blogsecret)
“I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just...”
“I’m scared to move on because I’m worried that the second I’m happy with someone...”
“I think that we got so close, there was no choice but to tear ourselves away...”
– Fasho.
To be honest, when I was with you, I NEVER EVER...
Too much crying, too effing painful.
whose your aaron: im sorry for putting you through all of this bs..
itsmaexkabang: hey. idk. i fell toooooo hard for you, so i guess its not really all that your fault. i knew somewhere in my heart, you were gonna do SOMETHING like this to me, not this badd, but something like that. but you know what, i left that in the back of ym mind. i didn;t talk to you about it. i shouldve came to you, upfront, but i didnt. i guess i just didnt wanna believe it.
whose your aaron: ohh. hm :| im sorry.
itsmaexkabang: eh, its fine aaron.. im hurting myself, lingering over you like a little puppy. I feel foolish, crying and crying over someone who isnt there. and whats worse then loving someone who doesnt love you back, is loving someone, who still used to be in love with you.
itsmaexkabang: Im not trying to make you feel worse then how you already feel. but you played me aaron. you played me so fucking hard, that i know tis gonna be heard to love someone as close as how i love you. but you know, it is what it is. thtas life. at least i know the next time, i fall for someone, i won't love them too fast.. or even let them tell me the sweet things might say, cause that shizz just might be lies.
whose your aaron: lies.
whose your aaron: everything i said was a lie?
itsmaexkabang: it turned out to be lies, didnt it.
whose your aaron: all of it?
itsmaexkabang: not all of it, but most .
whose your aaron: what wasnt a lie.
itsmaexkabang: mm, you tell me.
whose your aaron: i wanna hear it from you.
itsmaexkabang: i dont know.. >.< some of the things you said about me, when i thought about it, its like. how can you say those words to be, and lie right? lie to my face, lie to my heart. like HOW could it be. what we were, was something so fucking special, more than any relationship that i can think of. so of course, you meant all those things maybe. AT ONE POINT. YOU THOUGHT, i was the one for you, you thought i was the love of your life, you thought that i was supposedly the one you get on your knees too and marry, and to have my kids, and to have me the girl you wake up to every morning, and that you'd chase after me if we ever broke up, because you'd feel empty without me, just allllll of that and more. you thought. i was the one. but i guess you think otherwise. and thats how i see it. EVERYTHING CHANGED. you figured out what you want. and its not me. so there, i think, you said those things, just because, you thought. =/ but you really didnt know AFTERALL.
whose your aaron: =/
itsmaexkabang: its true isnt it.
whose your aaron: mm.
whose your aaron: yeah )=
I love you behbs ):
EH, our talk yesterday, i dont know. Realllly hurt me. But I guess its what I needed to hear.. You only wanna be friends, so I guess thats all I can give you.. Even though I wish I could be something more to you. =/ I reeally reeally miss you, But i don;t know that to say. Its gonna be hard to be friends, but if thats the closest thing I can be to you, then I’ll take it. )= I’ll still...
“Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like...”
“Love is just a word until someone you meet gives it a meaning. Love is holding...”